CAUTION: CALLOUS KITER CALAMITIES!

[JRN]

SUFFERED THE SLINGS AND ARROWS OF AN SS (SELF STARTER) KITER, & became the poster boy advocate of taking lessons. Now it dawns on me why instructors like me.

[JERRY]

Yes....Jim...some of you're downwinders have been exciting for some of us to.

[JRN]

SORRY JERRY! I hope the scar tissue goes away soon.

[JERRY]

Scars are sooooo cool...we all have some with a story to tell with each one.

[JRN]

I think SPOTKE, MIKE BARRES, YOU & I should make a movie titled, "BIG PINK, THE KITE FROM HELL." Oh yeah, don't forget Wild Bill, the guy who owned it after me. I am surprised that Flexifoil survived. Bill traded a snowboard for it. I mounted a SwitchBlade on that board and several black & blue bruises later, sold it to a guy in Canada. I am now wanted by the Mounties for exporting dull instruments of @$$ destruction.

[JRN]

I WANT TO DESCRIBE SOME OF MY EXPERIENCE ABOUT RESCUES. Also, what are referred to as "kitemares" or incidents which may cause doubts about your reasons for kiting....aside from the good fellowship and AWESOME babes . However, my aim is not to frighten anyone away from joining in the fun, taking lessons, or, as in my case, making it an all consuming lifestle, between injuries .

[JRN]

On my last gulf-side down winder, I warned the two others, "I suck at rescues, if you or Bill have any problems, don't count on my help." The previous season, I had failed to retrieve Perry's board in the shore break. We think it may have washed up in Venezuela. So, trying to pluck a board out of the drink, sail over, and drop it on your buddy's lap is an important, but difficult skill. More often than not, my attempts end up in a mass of tangled lines, kites, & even kiters.

I would advise to always know that another kiter with these skills is along for the ride. Some of my earlier wave rides were, believe it or not, problematic. Lucky for me, both Tighe & Chad have their rescue skills mastered. I started with a couple other wave newbies, and by the time we reached our destination, I counted a least 6 times when they grabbed our boards, returned them, or helped relaunch our kites. The waves can teach alot of hard-earned lessons, as I later found out.

[JRN]

NOT ONLY ARE THERE "HAZARDS" IN THE WATER, how about hidden ones on shore? If you haven't guessed by now, about 1/2 the population among human kind and the rest of the natural world is, (drum roll) FEMALE! But their rarity among kiters, is often discussed,usually after a few brews, among the predominantly male majority. But in this case, the majority does NOT rule. You may have witnessed me, and maybe others, becoming blubbering idiots at the rare sight of a woman standing near, or maybe in the same general vicinity of our equipment (In this instance referring to kites, boards, and related paraphenalia).

In reality that person may only have to make eye contact before half the males nearby will be offering lessons, gear, to assist in wardrobe adjustments, and all this for the cost of a smile, or a nod, or usually derisive laughter. My advice to those brave enough to enter this charged environment: give no encouragement, particularly to folks like me. Restrain yourself from the notion that a polite chuckle will suffice to chill any unwanted overtures.

You may have noticed the neon tat on my forehead,"UNREFORMED SERIAL FLIRT". The best plan of action is to turn and walk, no RUN away.